Alissa is almost two now, and she's a fun little bear cub. She loves to be outside, run around, play with chalk, ride in her little pink car, etc. She likes to go for walks and point at the trees, the birds, the flowers. She loves to watch the cars come (or as most often happens, not come) to a stop at the end of our street. She will scream, "TRUCK" when one passes. She especially loves the ice cream truck, which I am trying to get into the habit of calling the "music truck", so she doesn't get the idea that there's ice cream in there or anything. At least just yet. Maybe next summer, when the idea of frozen treats doesn't seem ever so messy.
We have a little pink play pool, and a water table, and that's made for some easy water fun this summer. She loves splashing, and has been to a few little splash parks (Stan Hywet and the Botanical Gardens have little ones). Even the rain is cheap, easy fun for her, and so are puddles. We discovered this at this year's Irish festival. She had so much fun just running and splashing through the puddles. It's hard when we go to parks like the Bedford Reservation, which has areas that are very accessible if you want to splash in the creek. I keep thinking, "oh, we'll take her here when she's older so she can splash around!" And so I can splash around... I love wading in creeks.
It hasn't been a very hot summer, so many days we just go to local playgrounds. She LOVES the playground at Preston's Hope. http://www.prestonshope.com/ If you've never been, it's fun for kids of all ages. There's a section for younger kids, with a smaller slide and climbing place. There's both kiddie swings and regular swings, plus a tire swing and handicap appropriate swings. There's bouncy cars, dinosaurs, whales, and other assorted things. There's a boat that you sit on like a couch and rock back and forth. There's a sand area where you can "dig" for dinosaur bones, although at her age, it's easier to have her dig for the sand toys. And one of the highlights for me is the way that the place is set up like a miniature town, where kids can run in and out of stores, the gym, a school, the bank, etc. Alissa loves to look through the windows and little face cut-outs at me outside. There's really something for every child at this playground, and it's really big, so even on days where there's been large groups of camp kids running around, we can still enjoy ourselves. On our most recent visit, Alissa realized just how fun a roller-style slide can be. (something like this: Roller Slide.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Sunday, August 17, 2014
On the topic of blogging and trendiness.
So the other day my husband mentioned to me that I should get back to blogging. That I should blog more about my experiences as a mommy. I definitely miss blogging, so why not do it?
Well... I hate doing things that are trendy. Mommy blogs are EVERYWHERE. They all have their cute backgrounds and links and contests, etc. Oh, and I love reading them. I often read other mommy's blogs and think about what I would write about the same topic. It's not that I don't like mommy blogs, it's that I don't like doing things that are trendy. I've been blogging since 2001 - began shortly before 9/11. No, you may not read the twisted blogs of my early-mid-late 20s. So there's this part of me that's annoyingly hipster-like (another word I eschew) that's all, "I was doing this before it was cool!" like my love of Oasis, cloth bags, or organic foods. I fell away from blogging when I was in my early 30s, too busy with work, life, marriage, etc. I started writing about my experiences when Alissa was an infant, but sleep deprivation and such made this page sit here in perpetual lost-blogdom. Would Alissa be eight months in the internet world forever?
No, my husband is right. I need to return to blogging. I enjoy my tweets and FB posts and all, but sometimes, I really have more to say about the world.
I really have no specific slant or goal of this blog. If you read it, and enjoy it, that's great. If you read it, and hate it, that's great too. Thanks for reading.
Well... I hate doing things that are trendy. Mommy blogs are EVERYWHERE. They all have their cute backgrounds and links and contests, etc. Oh, and I love reading them. I often read other mommy's blogs and think about what I would write about the same topic. It's not that I don't like mommy blogs, it's that I don't like doing things that are trendy. I've been blogging since 2001 - began shortly before 9/11. No, you may not read the twisted blogs of my early-mid-late 20s. So there's this part of me that's annoyingly hipster-like (another word I eschew) that's all, "I was doing this before it was cool!" like my love of Oasis, cloth bags, or organic foods. I fell away from blogging when I was in my early 30s, too busy with work, life, marriage, etc. I started writing about my experiences when Alissa was an infant, but sleep deprivation and such made this page sit here in perpetual lost-blogdom. Would Alissa be eight months in the internet world forever?
No, my husband is right. I need to return to blogging. I enjoy my tweets and FB posts and all, but sometimes, I really have more to say about the world.
I really have no specific slant or goal of this blog. If you read it, and enjoy it, that's great. If you read it, and hate it, that's great too. Thanks for reading.
Rebranding
So I've re-branded this weblog to fit more with life as a stay-at-home mommy. I do miss blogging, and now that Alissa is a bit older, I'm hoping to have more time for it. Stay tuned :-)
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Mommies are so judgmental
Myself included.
There are so many decisions to make in motherhood. Diapers, feeding, bed, schedules, etc. And with each decision you enter a group of mommies that also chose the same choice. At the same time, you are pitting yourself against the women who made the opposite choice. Then the battle begins, the smugness, the self-righteousness, the gloating, the hiding-the-times-where-you-feel-like-you-made-the-wrong-decision.
Now before I became a mom, I told myself, I would never be one of those judgmental moms that assumed I knew what was best, not just for my baby, but for all babies. Each mom should choose what is best for her and her baby. Hahaha. That was before I knew just how much you are judged for each and every decision, especially if one choice usually goes along with other choices, but you went the other way on those decisions.
I'm gonna examine some of my decisions one by one...
Choice 1: Natural birth or use pain-medicine.
This one was a pretty easy decision. I knew based on watching and hearing other people giving birth that I would want painkillers. I don't need to be a martyr, and my threshold for pain is pretty low. I was already begging for an epidural while dilated only 3cm. But that might be because I was having complications (infection) without realizing it. In the end, it didn't really matter, right after getting the epidural, and settling in for the rest of the labor, the doctor decided I needed an immediate c-section.
As far as other moms, do what is medically best for your baby. But please, don't schedule a c-section 3 weeks before your due date because it is most convenient to you, or you want to have your son born on someone famous's birthday or some, "not putting my child" first reason. Babies are healthiest when born at full term - that is, 39 or 40 weeks!
Choice 2: Breast-feeding or formula.
This one was also an easy decision. The more I read about the benefits of breast-feeding, the more I wanted to do it. My sister-in-law has breast-fed all of her children, and I think that inspired me to at least try. I was anxious though, going into motherhood, on whether or not I would have problems. I guess problems are actually pretty rare once your milk comes in and the baby has a good latch, but getting to that point can be incredibly difficult, especially if your milk is delayed. I had friends that used formula for various reasons - breastfeeding caused health problems for them, they had medicines that they had to take that were not safe for breast-feeding, or they used formula to supplement to help with poor feeding or low weight babies. So I went into motherhood wanting to breastfeed (healthier for baby and a whole lot cheaper!), but almost expecting to have troubles and need formula (cause that would be my luck).
I still get sad sometimes when I remember that I didn't get to hold Alissa for several hours after she was born. No immediate skin-to-skin contact. No attempt to breastfeed. When I went to visit her that first evening, the doctor or nurse told me to not stay long, I needed my rest, so when the NICU nurse asked if I wanted to try to breastfeed, I declined, and said I would come back in the morning. The next morning, I got a phone call around 9am, I believe, to come soon to feed or else they would supplement with formula. So as soon as I could get the wheelchair and walk myself to the NICU (with Matt's help), I got there.
Oh my gosh it was difficult. Not at all like the natural, easy latch that they showed in the breastfeeding class. The lactation consultant was very helpful, as was the NICU nurses. Alissa would fall asleep a lot while feeding, and end up doing what they called "sleep-sucking" (or using Mommy as a pacifier in a sense). I didn't realize this at first, and so I'd spend long, extended, exhausting periods with her at my breast, thinking she was getting food (tiny bits of colostrum), but really not getting a lot.
And my milk came in late. Day 5 or 6 it was finally here. But especially the first couple days home, with my milk not in yet, was so hard. Alissa wasn't happy. Her first appt. with the doctor she had lost too much of her birth weight and still had none of the BMs she was supposed to get. But then, miraculously, my milk came in, she pooped 6 times in one day, and from then on things went pretty well. Yay! Sure, it's been hard when out in public and no where to feed (thanks, Art Museum, I mean no thanks for no areas besides a bathroom... at least the Zoo has comfy chairs available in their family restrooms...)
Breastfeeding is difficult, but it's doable. I know two people who have had to do nothing but pump to give their babies breastmilk. I know those who have had to nurse, then pump, just to get enough supply. Sure, the first few weeks are rough, but it's not something I would give up or supplement just for my own convenience.
Choice 3: Cloth or Disposable Diapers
I'm not gonna belabor this one. A life-long self-proclaimed environmentalist, tree hugger, etc., but I willingly and readily became an eco-terrorist by not even attempting cloth diapers and going straight on the Pampers Swaddlers. We now use Baby-Dry. But I love disposables. And I don't intend to switch anytime soon.
Choice 4: Where will Baby Sleep?
I never thought about co-sleeping. We got a cradle handed down to us, from my parents, to my brother, to my sister, then to me to use for Alissa. That didn't last long, as she didn't sleep well in it, and I was nervous about her head getting stuck in the not-up-to-current-safety-standard slots. Plus, where the cradle was in our bedroom, it seemed so far away. In retrospect, one of the bassinets or those attachments to put right next to the bed would have been nice, but it was hard enough for me to get in and out of bed while recovering from the surgery, that it wouldn't have been practical. Plus, sleeping on my side was out of question, so it wouldn't have helped with the middle of the night feedings anyhow.
For two weeks or so, we had her sleep in her bouncer, and she would sleep 2-3 hours at a time. Then, following advice from my sister, we invested in a Fisher Price Rock n Play. What a difference that made! We could use it to rock her to sleep if needed. It kept her snug, head-elevated, and was small enough to keep closer to our bed. She began to sleep in longer 3-4 hour stretches, til about 5-6 weeks when she began to sleep for her first 5-6 hour stretches. Honestly, they say that up until 5-6 months, 5-6 hour stretches of sleep IS considered sleeping through the night.
This might sound kind of perplexing, but it is really a better thing for babies to wake during the night. First, in the early months, they wake because they are hungry, and breastfed babies wake more frequently because naturally, they digest Mommy's milk more efficiently than they would formula. They wake for all sorts of reasons, but it is a natural defense against SIDS, and so I'm glad she woke frequently. To me, that's a sign of a healthy baby. I am amazed by moms of 6 weeks olds or whatever gloating about how their baby slept 12 hours or something like that, and I'm thinking, that poor baby went all that time without food, or a diaper change, or comfort? That's just not natural, in my opinion.
I got quite attached to having Alissa in our room. It was easier, especially with the complications of my c-section not healing right, plus sleep troubles that I started to have around December, to keep her with us. She knew we were right in the room. I didn't have to walk up and down the stairs to the nursery. It just made sense to keep her in the room. I recently overhead a mother of a young baby talk about how she couldn't wait to get her daughter into her nursery and out of their room so that they could sleep better. And I thought, "what, so you could ignore her better in the middle of the night?" What the heck? Yes, keeping Alissa in our room helped us sleep better, because we didn't have to go as far to answer her middle of the night NEEDS, not because it helped us distance ourselves from her.
Needless to say, we kept Alissa in our room for a very long time, moving her finally to her nursery in the crib around 7 and a half months. Despite people saying it would be a difficult transition, it actually went really well. She still wakes at night, but not that I am healed and more confident of my mothering abilities, the extra steps don't bother me.
Now, sometimes I just want to grab her and take her into our bed and snuggle all night, but I really don't trust co-sleeping. In winter, we use multiple heavy blankets, and wouldn't want to risk suffocation; plus I roll a lot, and with a smaller, only standard full bed, there's not a lot of extra space. Perhaps in summer time, or with a larger bed, I might have had a different approach, but it just seemed the risks outweighed the benefits.
(Post-script: I guess what we had been doing WAS technically co-sleeping, since she was in our room. Well, yay! I feel better about myself now :-) )
Choice 5: Cry it Out?
This is probably the most controversial of all mommy issues. Going into mommyhood I assumed this was something you did. Just like the five Ss... things to help the baby adjust to life on their own.
The 5 Ss were great. Swaddling provided the natural comfort of the womb. Shhhushhing mimicked the sound in utero. Sucking is a natural reflex, which is why we were ok with pacis. Swinging also mimicks the movement in the womb. We didn't use the Side/Stomach approach too often, because usually the others worked. Especially having the white noise app, lol. All these things made sense to comfort the baby...
But then how do you get them to stop crying and go to sleep when they are past the first few colicky months? A lot of people out there, a lot of moms swear by various methods of crying it out, whether it is the Ferber method or just direct CIO. For the longest, I assumed that when it was time to "sleep train" we would do one of these methods.
But I just couldn't bring myself to leave her alone to cry. I tried it once for a nap, and it was horrible (and didn't work, she slept 15 minutes).
I began to read about scientific studies that spoke of the cortisol levels in babies. When they cry out of distress, the produce cortisol. Cortisol is a natural way the body deals with stress, but too much of it is bad. So I was very alarmed to read that, in CIO methods, although the baby cries with less time by night 3 or 5 or whatever, the amount of cortisol stays the same. So essentially, the baby gives up. They are still stressed, alone, missing mommy and daddy, but sleep training is essentially teaching them that mommy and daddy are not coming. So yeah, eventually they fall asleep, anyone would. And they sleep out of exhaustion (same as I would after a prolonged cry). But, to me, doing that to a baby that doesn't understand what is going on is horrible! I don't want to teach my child what psychologists would call "learned helplessness".
So how do we get Alissa to fall asleep at night? Sometimes she falls asleep nursing. Sometimes we sit there and hold her hand through the crib until she falls asleep. She looks for us. She wants to know we are there, that we did not abandon her. And I am fine with that. I would rather have her feel protected, safe, content as she falls asleep than feel abandoned, exposed, alone.
Choice 6: Starting Solids
So just like CIO, I assumed starting solids around 4 months was what you did. But then, again, I began to read about how solids affect a baby's tummy. It's not the greatest, especially the oft-recommended first food, rice cereal. It all goes back to Breast is Best for babies. In fact, it is recommended to EBF until 6 months at least. I wanted to do what was best for Alissa and wait 6 months... despite everyone telling me how she "wanted real food" and that "giving her cereal would help her sleep."
I've been feeding Alissa solids for slightly over two months, and guess what, she still wakes up at night. Solids have not made any difference, besides changing her poop habits from once a week to anywhere from 4x a day to once every 2 days. And it hasn't been the easiest transition for her. Nevertheless, she likes her purees, likes to try new food (except green beans so far), and since I make all her food in the Baby Bullet (except for the yogurt), I know exactly what she is getting. It's cheaper and fresher too!
Now whether other babies wait or not 6 months, that is up to their mommies. Some even suggest skipping purees until they can chew, then giving them finger food. I think, as long as they are getting healthy food, then that is what is important. What bothers me is when I see babies being fed junk food. Ick. Way to start healthy habits young - not!
Ok, that's enough of my decisions and judgements for now. I'm sure I'll have more in the future!
There are so many decisions to make in motherhood. Diapers, feeding, bed, schedules, etc. And with each decision you enter a group of mommies that also chose the same choice. At the same time, you are pitting yourself against the women who made the opposite choice. Then the battle begins, the smugness, the self-righteousness, the gloating, the hiding-the-times-where-you-feel-like-you-made-the-wrong-decision.
Now before I became a mom, I told myself, I would never be one of those judgmental moms that assumed I knew what was best, not just for my baby, but for all babies. Each mom should choose what is best for her and her baby. Hahaha. That was before I knew just how much you are judged for each and every decision, especially if one choice usually goes along with other choices, but you went the other way on those decisions.
I'm gonna examine some of my decisions one by one...
Choice 1: Natural birth or use pain-medicine.
This one was a pretty easy decision. I knew based on watching and hearing other people giving birth that I would want painkillers. I don't need to be a martyr, and my threshold for pain is pretty low. I was already begging for an epidural while dilated only 3cm. But that might be because I was having complications (infection) without realizing it. In the end, it didn't really matter, right after getting the epidural, and settling in for the rest of the labor, the doctor decided I needed an immediate c-section.
As far as other moms, do what is medically best for your baby. But please, don't schedule a c-section 3 weeks before your due date because it is most convenient to you, or you want to have your son born on someone famous's birthday or some, "not putting my child" first reason. Babies are healthiest when born at full term - that is, 39 or 40 weeks!
Choice 2: Breast-feeding or formula.
This one was also an easy decision. The more I read about the benefits of breast-feeding, the more I wanted to do it. My sister-in-law has breast-fed all of her children, and I think that inspired me to at least try. I was anxious though, going into motherhood, on whether or not I would have problems. I guess problems are actually pretty rare once your milk comes in and the baby has a good latch, but getting to that point can be incredibly difficult, especially if your milk is delayed. I had friends that used formula for various reasons - breastfeeding caused health problems for them, they had medicines that they had to take that were not safe for breast-feeding, or they used formula to supplement to help with poor feeding or low weight babies. So I went into motherhood wanting to breastfeed (healthier for baby and a whole lot cheaper!), but almost expecting to have troubles and need formula (cause that would be my luck).
I still get sad sometimes when I remember that I didn't get to hold Alissa for several hours after she was born. No immediate skin-to-skin contact. No attempt to breastfeed. When I went to visit her that first evening, the doctor or nurse told me to not stay long, I needed my rest, so when the NICU nurse asked if I wanted to try to breastfeed, I declined, and said I would come back in the morning. The next morning, I got a phone call around 9am, I believe, to come soon to feed or else they would supplement with formula. So as soon as I could get the wheelchair and walk myself to the NICU (with Matt's help), I got there.
Oh my gosh it was difficult. Not at all like the natural, easy latch that they showed in the breastfeeding class. The lactation consultant was very helpful, as was the NICU nurses. Alissa would fall asleep a lot while feeding, and end up doing what they called "sleep-sucking" (or using Mommy as a pacifier in a sense). I didn't realize this at first, and so I'd spend long, extended, exhausting periods with her at my breast, thinking she was getting food (tiny bits of colostrum), but really not getting a lot.
And my milk came in late. Day 5 or 6 it was finally here. But especially the first couple days home, with my milk not in yet, was so hard. Alissa wasn't happy. Her first appt. with the doctor she had lost too much of her birth weight and still had none of the BMs she was supposed to get. But then, miraculously, my milk came in, she pooped 6 times in one day, and from then on things went pretty well. Yay! Sure, it's been hard when out in public and no where to feed (thanks, Art Museum, I mean no thanks for no areas besides a bathroom... at least the Zoo has comfy chairs available in their family restrooms...)
Breastfeeding is difficult, but it's doable. I know two people who have had to do nothing but pump to give their babies breastmilk. I know those who have had to nurse, then pump, just to get enough supply. Sure, the first few weeks are rough, but it's not something I would give up or supplement just for my own convenience.
Choice 3: Cloth or Disposable Diapers
I'm not gonna belabor this one. A life-long self-proclaimed environmentalist, tree hugger, etc., but I willingly and readily became an eco-terrorist by not even attempting cloth diapers and going straight on the Pampers Swaddlers. We now use Baby-Dry. But I love disposables. And I don't intend to switch anytime soon.
Choice 4: Where will Baby Sleep?
I never thought about co-sleeping. We got a cradle handed down to us, from my parents, to my brother, to my sister, then to me to use for Alissa. That didn't last long, as she didn't sleep well in it, and I was nervous about her head getting stuck in the not-up-to-current-safety-standard slots. Plus, where the cradle was in our bedroom, it seemed so far away. In retrospect, one of the bassinets or those attachments to put right next to the bed would have been nice, but it was hard enough for me to get in and out of bed while recovering from the surgery, that it wouldn't have been practical. Plus, sleeping on my side was out of question, so it wouldn't have helped with the middle of the night feedings anyhow.
For two weeks or so, we had her sleep in her bouncer, and she would sleep 2-3 hours at a time. Then, following advice from my sister, we invested in a Fisher Price Rock n Play. What a difference that made! We could use it to rock her to sleep if needed. It kept her snug, head-elevated, and was small enough to keep closer to our bed. She began to sleep in longer 3-4 hour stretches, til about 5-6 weeks when she began to sleep for her first 5-6 hour stretches. Honestly, they say that up until 5-6 months, 5-6 hour stretches of sleep IS considered sleeping through the night.
This might sound kind of perplexing, but it is really a better thing for babies to wake during the night. First, in the early months, they wake because they are hungry, and breastfed babies wake more frequently because naturally, they digest Mommy's milk more efficiently than they would formula. They wake for all sorts of reasons, but it is a natural defense against SIDS, and so I'm glad she woke frequently. To me, that's a sign of a healthy baby. I am amazed by moms of 6 weeks olds or whatever gloating about how their baby slept 12 hours or something like that, and I'm thinking, that poor baby went all that time without food, or a diaper change, or comfort? That's just not natural, in my opinion.
I got quite attached to having Alissa in our room. It was easier, especially with the complications of my c-section not healing right, plus sleep troubles that I started to have around December, to keep her with us. She knew we were right in the room. I didn't have to walk up and down the stairs to the nursery. It just made sense to keep her in the room. I recently overhead a mother of a young baby talk about how she couldn't wait to get her daughter into her nursery and out of their room so that they could sleep better. And I thought, "what, so you could ignore her better in the middle of the night?" What the heck? Yes, keeping Alissa in our room helped us sleep better, because we didn't have to go as far to answer her middle of the night NEEDS, not because it helped us distance ourselves from her.
Needless to say, we kept Alissa in our room for a very long time, moving her finally to her nursery in the crib around 7 and a half months. Despite people saying it would be a difficult transition, it actually went really well. She still wakes at night, but not that I am healed and more confident of my mothering abilities, the extra steps don't bother me.
Now, sometimes I just want to grab her and take her into our bed and snuggle all night, but I really don't trust co-sleeping. In winter, we use multiple heavy blankets, and wouldn't want to risk suffocation; plus I roll a lot, and with a smaller, only standard full bed, there's not a lot of extra space. Perhaps in summer time, or with a larger bed, I might have had a different approach, but it just seemed the risks outweighed the benefits.
(Post-script: I guess what we had been doing WAS technically co-sleeping, since she was in our room. Well, yay! I feel better about myself now :-) )
Choice 5: Cry it Out?
This is probably the most controversial of all mommy issues. Going into mommyhood I assumed this was something you did. Just like the five Ss... things to help the baby adjust to life on their own.
The 5 Ss were great. Swaddling provided the natural comfort of the womb. Shhhushhing mimicked the sound in utero. Sucking is a natural reflex, which is why we were ok with pacis. Swinging also mimicks the movement in the womb. We didn't use the Side/Stomach approach too often, because usually the others worked. Especially having the white noise app, lol. All these things made sense to comfort the baby...
But then how do you get them to stop crying and go to sleep when they are past the first few colicky months? A lot of people out there, a lot of moms swear by various methods of crying it out, whether it is the Ferber method or just direct CIO. For the longest, I assumed that when it was time to "sleep train" we would do one of these methods.
But I just couldn't bring myself to leave her alone to cry. I tried it once for a nap, and it was horrible (and didn't work, she slept 15 minutes).
I began to read about scientific studies that spoke of the cortisol levels in babies. When they cry out of distress, the produce cortisol. Cortisol is a natural way the body deals with stress, but too much of it is bad. So I was very alarmed to read that, in CIO methods, although the baby cries with less time by night 3 or 5 or whatever, the amount of cortisol stays the same. So essentially, the baby gives up. They are still stressed, alone, missing mommy and daddy, but sleep training is essentially teaching them that mommy and daddy are not coming. So yeah, eventually they fall asleep, anyone would. And they sleep out of exhaustion (same as I would after a prolonged cry). But, to me, doing that to a baby that doesn't understand what is going on is horrible! I don't want to teach my child what psychologists would call "learned helplessness".
So how do we get Alissa to fall asleep at night? Sometimes she falls asleep nursing. Sometimes we sit there and hold her hand through the crib until she falls asleep. She looks for us. She wants to know we are there, that we did not abandon her. And I am fine with that. I would rather have her feel protected, safe, content as she falls asleep than feel abandoned, exposed, alone.
Choice 6: Starting Solids
So just like CIO, I assumed starting solids around 4 months was what you did. But then, again, I began to read about how solids affect a baby's tummy. It's not the greatest, especially the oft-recommended first food, rice cereal. It all goes back to Breast is Best for babies. In fact, it is recommended to EBF until 6 months at least. I wanted to do what was best for Alissa and wait 6 months... despite everyone telling me how she "wanted real food" and that "giving her cereal would help her sleep."
I've been feeding Alissa solids for slightly over two months, and guess what, she still wakes up at night. Solids have not made any difference, besides changing her poop habits from once a week to anywhere from 4x a day to once every 2 days. And it hasn't been the easiest transition for her. Nevertheless, she likes her purees, likes to try new food (except green beans so far), and since I make all her food in the Baby Bullet (except for the yogurt), I know exactly what she is getting. It's cheaper and fresher too!
Now whether other babies wait or not 6 months, that is up to their mommies. Some even suggest skipping purees until they can chew, then giving them finger food. I think, as long as they are getting healthy food, then that is what is important. What bothers me is when I see babies being fed junk food. Ick. Way to start healthy habits young - not!
Ok, that's enough of my decisions and judgements for now. I'm sure I'll have more in the future!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Mommy-hood
Being a mom is so time-consuming, exhausting, and nerve-wrecking. But it's the best. It has been a wonderful past 7 months. On the down-side, I don't have much time to write about how wonderful it is!
I think often of my fond memories of Alissa's first few months. My husband's smile when he would bring me Alissa so she could finish feeding after a poopy diaper, and right before giving her back to me, she would poop again. Off he'd return to the changing table. I love that memory. He only could take two weeks off before going back to work, but it was an awesome, exhausting time. Feed, change diaper, rest. He was a master of the 5Ss - he could rock her just so, on her side, paci in, to get her to stop crying. He was an expert swaddler too.
I remember when we reached the 6 week mark, and it felt like we had conquered the world. But the days just went faster and faster. It is true when they say to cherish each moment, even the rotten ones, because they pass so fast!
My husband went back to work after just two weeks of paternity leave. I was so afraid of dropping Alissa if I walked down the stairs with her, so he would carry her down for me before he left for work. If I was able to, I would shower before he left, but mostly I just showered at night, and definitely not every day. I would feed her around that time in the morning, diaper change, play for a bit, then she would sleep another 2-3 hours. Up for an hour or so, back to sleep another 2. So on and so forth throughout the day. For a while I got back into my soap opera, but that faded the more Alissa was awake. By 3 I would get excited, because Matt would be coming home soon!
Many afternoons were spent at the computer, Alissa sleeping in my lap. This was before I had the Ipod touch. I would catch up on tv shows I had missed (which I have fallen back behind on) and wait for 5:30 or 6pm, depending on if Matt took the train or not. I started in November to watch How I Met Your Mother, from the beginning. This was an every day thing around 5 for a while, but again, that faded too.
Tummy time would last 5 minutes, another playtime 5 minutes, then I would rock her or nurse her back to sleep, as she would scream as most newborns do. Oh, how I value those 5Ss!
She was so precious those first few months. I was so afraid to break her!
I remember her first sleepy smiles, as she would sleep on the boppy in my lap after a feeding. I remember her first real smiles, and then laughter.
I remember when she took naps longer than 30 minutes at a time.
I think often of my fond memories of Alissa's first few months. My husband's smile when he would bring me Alissa so she could finish feeding after a poopy diaper, and right before giving her back to me, she would poop again. Off he'd return to the changing table. I love that memory. He only could take two weeks off before going back to work, but it was an awesome, exhausting time. Feed, change diaper, rest. He was a master of the 5Ss - he could rock her just so, on her side, paci in, to get her to stop crying. He was an expert swaddler too.
I remember when we reached the 6 week mark, and it felt like we had conquered the world. But the days just went faster and faster. It is true when they say to cherish each moment, even the rotten ones, because they pass so fast!
My husband went back to work after just two weeks of paternity leave. I was so afraid of dropping Alissa if I walked down the stairs with her, so he would carry her down for me before he left for work. If I was able to, I would shower before he left, but mostly I just showered at night, and definitely not every day. I would feed her around that time in the morning, diaper change, play for a bit, then she would sleep another 2-3 hours. Up for an hour or so, back to sleep another 2. So on and so forth throughout the day. For a while I got back into my soap opera, but that faded the more Alissa was awake. By 3 I would get excited, because Matt would be coming home soon!
Many afternoons were spent at the computer, Alissa sleeping in my lap. This was before I had the Ipod touch. I would catch up on tv shows I had missed (which I have fallen back behind on) and wait for 5:30 or 6pm, depending on if Matt took the train or not. I started in November to watch How I Met Your Mother, from the beginning. This was an every day thing around 5 for a while, but again, that faded too.
Tummy time would last 5 minutes, another playtime 5 minutes, then I would rock her or nurse her back to sleep, as she would scream as most newborns do. Oh, how I value those 5Ss!
She was so precious those first few months. I was so afraid to break her!
I remember her first sleepy smiles, as she would sleep on the boppy in my lap after a feeding. I remember her first real smiles, and then laughter.
I remember when she took naps longer than 30 minutes at a time.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
On Alissa's birth...
So I said I would come back and post about Alissa's birth. Here goes:
The last few months of my pregnancy were quite stressful. On the day of my one year wedding anniversary, I had my only job interview of the summer. I was obviously quite pregnant, and in fact, they asked me if this was going to be my first child. Not a typical interview question. I was quite nervous, I felt like my pregnancy and the fact that I would miss a good portion of the school year was the, ahem, elephant in the room. I felt as large as an elephant. Needless to say, I did not get the job.
Matt and I still had a lot of fun last summer. None of our typical summer activities, like kayaking, but we did manage to make it to a few Indians games (for free, woo-hoo!) and got to the park a few times.
On August 22, I had just settled in at my computer, finished breakfast, when the phone rang. It was Matt, telling me that he had been in a car accident. His car had rolled over, he was on the roof (ceiling) of the car. I hadn't even showered, but I threw on a maternity dress and ran out the door, driving to the scene of the accident. Thankfully, he was ok, but it was rough seeing him on a stretcher, seeing the car, the ambulance. Thankfully, I did not go into pre-term labor, but aside from the day I lost my job, it was the most stressful day of my pregnancy.
We continued to do trivia every Tuesday with our friends Rob and Erica, despite the venue changing from Great Lakes Brewery to Harry Buffalo in Parma. Two weeks before Alissa was born, we met up again at Great Lakes - it was our last meal there in a very long time. It was a nice late-summer evening, and we ate outside on the patio. Beautiful.
One week before Alissa was born, thanks to Matt's work we were able to watch the Indians from inside the Owner's Suite at Progressive Field. Middle of the ballpark. Two nice sized bathrooms. A dessert cart that arrived mid-game. Lots of tasty, healthy food. A pregnant Indians fan's dream. We lost the game, but Matt and I stayed til the bitter end. Apparently, according to the lady in charge of the suite, Mr. Dolan had quipped that if I gave birth while at the game, it would mean they could add one more to the attendance total for the day.
As my due date approached, I was getting more and more miserable. I felt so hippo-gigantic. I wanted to see my baby girl. The Saturday before, it was a pretty, sunny, early autumn day, and so we headed down to the Cuyahoga Valley National Park. But once we got there, to Virginia Kendall, it started to rain. This will pass, we said, and we waited in the little stone pavilion for the rain to stop. And we waited. And waited. I had come all that way to "Walk this baby out of me" and Walk I was going to do. So we walked, and slipped, and ran through the rain through the downpours and around the pond. We were soaked as we headed home - it was then that we saw the sun re-emerge.
The next day, my body began to show signs that labor was near (but I'll spare the details).
On Monday night, I read Matt trivia questions like we had gotten used to doing. I'm pretty sure we watched Jeopardy.
If I had known Tuesday would be the day, I may have slept a bit longer. Taken another nap.
Tuesday, September 26 was my due date. When I woke up that morning, I thought, oh, no baby yet. But maybe still today. The afternoon came. I had lunch as usual, but then started to have stomach cramps sometime in the afternoon, felt a little nauseous. Talked to my mom around 4pm, and said, nope, no baby. Matt called around 5pm as he was leaving work, and I told him the same,"Nope, no Baby." At some point along the pregnancy, we had nicknamed our baby Princess Buttercup. September 26 was the 25th Anniversary of the Princess Bride, so it would have been a fitting day for her to be born. I kept telling her she could come out now. At 4:45pm, I had finally started to pack a bag for the hospital, you know, just in case.
At 5:15pm I thought about taking a short nap before Matt got home. Then I felt crampy again and headed to the bathroom. It was then that I saw blood. I must have sat on that toilet a long time, because I only stood up because I heard the garage door open. I waddled over to the door to greet my husband, but instead of my normal smile, I must have had a look of terrible worry on my face. I told him I was bleeding. I decided to call the doctor. If it had been an hour earlier, I could have spoken to the doctor's office, but instead I had to leave a message with the after-hours line. I think I then called my mother to let her know what was up. Then the after-hours doctor called me back, listened to my explanations, and told me to head to Labor and Delivery just to be sure. Labor and Delivery. Labor and Delivery.
We had plans that evening to have Rob and Erica over to play games and have Melt, so I texted or called Rob to cancel. I mentioned to Matt that I had packed bags and he grabbed them from upstairs. He didn't have time to really grab anything. I know I was thinking either something was seriously wrong or else it was nothing, but I honestly did not think I was in labor.
Traffic was rush hour. It seemed to take forever to get to the hospital. The bleeding continued. Matt dropped me off and went to park the car. Some nice police officers at the entrance to the hospital got me a wheelchair. Matt found me, and wheeled me to the maternity section. We waited for a few minutes, and finally they got me into Triage room #7. There, I changed into a hospital gown, and the nurse began to hook things to me and ask me about my symptoms. Then she laughed at me and said, "Honey, those aren't cramps. You're in labor." Lol. she asked if we had taken the childbirth classes (we had), but since my doctor had described contractions as different from what I've ever felt, and that I'd "KNOW" I was in labor, I did not think at all that this was the case. Oh, trust me, in a few hours, they would definitely feel... much different from my earlier cramps.
A doctor checked me out, I was only a couple inches dilated - not too much different from my last OB appointment. I was disappointed. But I was in labor - my contractions were 3 minutes apart and steady! He debated whether to send me back home but decided to let me stay. I'm glad he did. I think I had a Popsicle for dinner that night but I'm not entirely sure, I thought I was allowed something. We were in the triage room til around midnight, waiting for a labor room to open up. My brother came by, which was nice, to have someone else to talk to, share stories, etc.
My labor room was nice and big. Matt had a couch to sleep on. My mom called a few times to check in and see if she should come. They told me to try and sleep, but that proved difficult as the contractions got more and more painful. The belt they had me wear kept slipping, and I swear the way it monitored me wasn't accurate. There were also a lot of noisy, gossipy nurses in the room. At some point, maybe around 2, I felt more wet than before, and a nurse or doctor came by and confirmed that my water had broke. Pain intensified. My baby's heart rate was rather elevated. I began to beg for an epidural. That took 3 hours to get. I was so happy to get it. I was 4cm dilated, and felt a lot better since I was now in "active labor". I could do this.
At some point in the morning, my mom came by. My dad had gone into work, thinking it would be hours before my baby was born. Dr. Rao came in, around 8:30 or so, and told me he wasn't happy with how things were progressing. Baby's heart rate was still elevated. My temperature was up and my oxygen levels down. I think he tried giving me a breathing mask. He told me he would give it another hour and see if things improved, and then we would have a serious talk about a c-section. My mother, having had 3 c-sections of her own, told him to just cut me open. Kinda shocked the doctor, but I was not surprised, lol.
15 minutes went by. Then Dr. came back in and had made up his mind. C-section it would be. They upped the epidural and moved me to the surgery room. Matt got dressed in scrubs. The time when I was in the room before Matt arrived was torture. I am pretty sure I was screaming and crying and begging them not to cut me open. I knew it was best for my baby and for my own health, but I was absolutely terrified. I remember the curtain in front of me. I remember them doing something and asking if I felt it. No (thank god). I could feel that I was being cut open, but no pain. I was worried about my baby girl. I was shaking, shaking, shivering so much I thought I would die. I was so cold.
At 9:27am on 9/26/12, they took my baby out of me. Princess Buttercup was born. I wanted to know she was alright. I held my breath, unable to see her, waiting to hear her cry. Then I heard her. The rush of relief. They must have shown her to Matt, but then took her to a table, behind me and to the right. I wanted to know she was breathing, what her Apgar score was. (It was an 8 both times). Matt did get to hold her, but because they were afraid of infection, they took her away to the NICU. They stitched me up. They took me back to my labor room for a few hours to recover. Back in that room, Matt and I finally had a moment to ourselves to discuss our name. She would be Alissa (with an I) Grace.
Back in the labor room, I got what I declare the Best sponge bath ever. By then my dad had shown up with my mother-in-law. I think they took turns coming in to see me. At some point they all left to get lunch. I wanted to rest, but every time I began to sleep, my oxygen dipped and the monitor would beep and I'd have to stay awake to focus on breathing in and out.
My parents, MIL, and Matt got to see Alissa up in the NICU. They took pictures to bring down and show me. She looked so big in the picture, but she was only 7lb. 7oz. She was beautiful.
At some point in the afternoon, they wheeled me up to see her. She had to spend 48 hours in NICU as a precaution. I could barely reach up to touch her as she slept. I wanted to hold her, to feed her, to hug her and never let her go. Oh, but the wires.
I had finally been moved to a proper recovery room, a nice double room where Matt could sleep on the other bed. I think around 6pm or so I was given the ok to have a liquid meal. Which actually meant jello and lemon ice. Delicious. Best lemon ice ever.
Later that evening, I finally got to hold my baby girl. I was so nervous, with all her cords and the beeps of the machines. I was afraid of hurting her, of breaking her. She was so precious. But I had to head back to do my own recovery. I barely slept that night, between my vitals being monitored, my legs sweating from those things they put on to avoid clots, the IV being switched, etc. In the morning I was finally able to go visit and feed Alissa for the first time. It was quite difficult, but the lactation consultant was wonderful. The NICU nurses were so wonderful, especially Julie, who helped so much in my difficulty nursing at first and sharing her own c-section and NICU stories. Truly an angel.
Thursday morning I was so delighted to be given the ok for solid food for breakfast. Cartwheels in my mind and tummy. The hospital food was really quite delicious, I highly recommend Hillcrest's food. The vegetable lasagna is especially tasty. I had two lovely displays of flowers delivered, which perked the room up - the one woman delivering food smelled the lilies every time. At some point I was allowed to shower for the first time. How awesome was that?
Every two hours I went to nurse Alissa. On Thursday night, they told me I was going to be getting a roommate, but I fought that (and won, at least temporarily). I wanted/needed Matt there with me. I needed to keep getting up and going to feed my baby. Oh, the long walks with the wheelchair (using it for support) down the hallway... seemed to last forever. The sanitizing station. The walk into the NICU and over to her room. Seeing her, holding her, feeding her.
Friday morning I was told at some point that I should not come to feed Alissa, but that she would be coming to join me. It was around the same time she came to our room (finally), my friend Amie came to visit. I had not seen her since my wedding, but it just so happened she was visiting from Florida. How awesome to see her! But then she left, and Matt went home to shower/get clothes, etc. I tried to nurse Alissa, but she just fed, and fed, and fed, or so I thought. Milk wasn't in yet, I guess she was what the nurse called it, "sleep sucking", just using me as a pacifier. Precious, but exhausting. That evening my brother and sister-in-law came to visit, but I had more nursing difficulty. Breastfeeding is really hard, especially trying to get that latch correct early on.
I was so happy to have Alissa in our room finally. But then they took her out to check vitals and didn't bring her back for hours. Apparently, I was supposed to rest during that time, but I didn't know that. I was awake worrying about whether something was wrong or not, especially since it took so long. I remember being so eager to walk that I got myself water in the middle of the night. Oh, the popsicles, the pudding snacks, the crackers, the pitcher of water. So many simple comforts.
Saturday morning we were told that we would be finally getting a roommate for me. This cut the room in half, actually less than half, as part of my half was now curtained off as a walkway for the other people. I could no longer see my flowers. Matt could no longer stay the night. We decided it would be better to just go home. Finally got some pictures of Alissa taken. Got the Doctor's ok for release. We took our time leaving, so as not to rush things. Alissa's first car ride. Stopped at Walgreens for my prescriptions. Matt had called me about something, but my phone was in the trunk, and in trying to get out of the car, I set the alarm off. Whoops.
It was a beautiful sunny fall day when we brought her home. Matt took a picture of her on the front stoop, as if she had been left, lol, by the stork. The first few nights were quite difficult. But one my milk (finally) came in, things got a lot better. We delighted in counting wet diapers and poops. We were excited when her weight rose so quickly between Monday and Wednesday. We had fun watching old tv episodes and sleeping when we could. We took a few walks with the stroller.
Ah, my baby girl is almost 6 months now. My how time flies...
The last few months of my pregnancy were quite stressful. On the day of my one year wedding anniversary, I had my only job interview of the summer. I was obviously quite pregnant, and in fact, they asked me if this was going to be my first child. Not a typical interview question. I was quite nervous, I felt like my pregnancy and the fact that I would miss a good portion of the school year was the, ahem, elephant in the room. I felt as large as an elephant. Needless to say, I did not get the job.
Matt and I still had a lot of fun last summer. None of our typical summer activities, like kayaking, but we did manage to make it to a few Indians games (for free, woo-hoo!) and got to the park a few times.
On August 22, I had just settled in at my computer, finished breakfast, when the phone rang. It was Matt, telling me that he had been in a car accident. His car had rolled over, he was on the roof (ceiling) of the car. I hadn't even showered, but I threw on a maternity dress and ran out the door, driving to the scene of the accident. Thankfully, he was ok, but it was rough seeing him on a stretcher, seeing the car, the ambulance. Thankfully, I did not go into pre-term labor, but aside from the day I lost my job, it was the most stressful day of my pregnancy.
We continued to do trivia every Tuesday with our friends Rob and Erica, despite the venue changing from Great Lakes Brewery to Harry Buffalo in Parma. Two weeks before Alissa was born, we met up again at Great Lakes - it was our last meal there in a very long time. It was a nice late-summer evening, and we ate outside on the patio. Beautiful.
One week before Alissa was born, thanks to Matt's work we were able to watch the Indians from inside the Owner's Suite at Progressive Field. Middle of the ballpark. Two nice sized bathrooms. A dessert cart that arrived mid-game. Lots of tasty, healthy food. A pregnant Indians fan's dream. We lost the game, but Matt and I stayed til the bitter end. Apparently, according to the lady in charge of the suite, Mr. Dolan had quipped that if I gave birth while at the game, it would mean they could add one more to the attendance total for the day.
As my due date approached, I was getting more and more miserable. I felt so hippo-gigantic. I wanted to see my baby girl. The Saturday before, it was a pretty, sunny, early autumn day, and so we headed down to the Cuyahoga Valley National Park. But once we got there, to Virginia Kendall, it started to rain. This will pass, we said, and we waited in the little stone pavilion for the rain to stop. And we waited. And waited. I had come all that way to "Walk this baby out of me" and Walk I was going to do. So we walked, and slipped, and ran through the rain through the downpours and around the pond. We were soaked as we headed home - it was then that we saw the sun re-emerge.
The next day, my body began to show signs that labor was near (but I'll spare the details).
On Monday night, I read Matt trivia questions like we had gotten used to doing. I'm pretty sure we watched Jeopardy.
If I had known Tuesday would be the day, I may have slept a bit longer. Taken another nap.
Tuesday, September 26 was my due date. When I woke up that morning, I thought, oh, no baby yet. But maybe still today. The afternoon came. I had lunch as usual, but then started to have stomach cramps sometime in the afternoon, felt a little nauseous. Talked to my mom around 4pm, and said, nope, no baby. Matt called around 5pm as he was leaving work, and I told him the same,"Nope, no Baby." At some point along the pregnancy, we had nicknamed our baby Princess Buttercup. September 26 was the 25th Anniversary of the Princess Bride, so it would have been a fitting day for her to be born. I kept telling her she could come out now. At 4:45pm, I had finally started to pack a bag for the hospital, you know, just in case.
At 5:15pm I thought about taking a short nap before Matt got home. Then I felt crampy again and headed to the bathroom. It was then that I saw blood. I must have sat on that toilet a long time, because I only stood up because I heard the garage door open. I waddled over to the door to greet my husband, but instead of my normal smile, I must have had a look of terrible worry on my face. I told him I was bleeding. I decided to call the doctor. If it had been an hour earlier, I could have spoken to the doctor's office, but instead I had to leave a message with the after-hours line. I think I then called my mother to let her know what was up. Then the after-hours doctor called me back, listened to my explanations, and told me to head to Labor and Delivery just to be sure. Labor and Delivery. Labor and Delivery.
We had plans that evening to have Rob and Erica over to play games and have Melt, so I texted or called Rob to cancel. I mentioned to Matt that I had packed bags and he grabbed them from upstairs. He didn't have time to really grab anything. I know I was thinking either something was seriously wrong or else it was nothing, but I honestly did not think I was in labor.
Traffic was rush hour. It seemed to take forever to get to the hospital. The bleeding continued. Matt dropped me off and went to park the car. Some nice police officers at the entrance to the hospital got me a wheelchair. Matt found me, and wheeled me to the maternity section. We waited for a few minutes, and finally they got me into Triage room #7. There, I changed into a hospital gown, and the nurse began to hook things to me and ask me about my symptoms. Then she laughed at me and said, "Honey, those aren't cramps. You're in labor." Lol. she asked if we had taken the childbirth classes (we had), but since my doctor had described contractions as different from what I've ever felt, and that I'd "KNOW" I was in labor, I did not think at all that this was the case. Oh, trust me, in a few hours, they would definitely feel... much different from my earlier cramps.
A doctor checked me out, I was only a couple inches dilated - not too much different from my last OB appointment. I was disappointed. But I was in labor - my contractions were 3 minutes apart and steady! He debated whether to send me back home but decided to let me stay. I'm glad he did. I think I had a Popsicle for dinner that night but I'm not entirely sure, I thought I was allowed something. We were in the triage room til around midnight, waiting for a labor room to open up. My brother came by, which was nice, to have someone else to talk to, share stories, etc.
My labor room was nice and big. Matt had a couch to sleep on. My mom called a few times to check in and see if she should come. They told me to try and sleep, but that proved difficult as the contractions got more and more painful. The belt they had me wear kept slipping, and I swear the way it monitored me wasn't accurate. There were also a lot of noisy, gossipy nurses in the room. At some point, maybe around 2, I felt more wet than before, and a nurse or doctor came by and confirmed that my water had broke. Pain intensified. My baby's heart rate was rather elevated. I began to beg for an epidural. That took 3 hours to get. I was so happy to get it. I was 4cm dilated, and felt a lot better since I was now in "active labor". I could do this.
At some point in the morning, my mom came by. My dad had gone into work, thinking it would be hours before my baby was born. Dr. Rao came in, around 8:30 or so, and told me he wasn't happy with how things were progressing. Baby's heart rate was still elevated. My temperature was up and my oxygen levels down. I think he tried giving me a breathing mask. He told me he would give it another hour and see if things improved, and then we would have a serious talk about a c-section. My mother, having had 3 c-sections of her own, told him to just cut me open. Kinda shocked the doctor, but I was not surprised, lol.
15 minutes went by. Then Dr. came back in and had made up his mind. C-section it would be. They upped the epidural and moved me to the surgery room. Matt got dressed in scrubs. The time when I was in the room before Matt arrived was torture. I am pretty sure I was screaming and crying and begging them not to cut me open. I knew it was best for my baby and for my own health, but I was absolutely terrified. I remember the curtain in front of me. I remember them doing something and asking if I felt it. No (thank god). I could feel that I was being cut open, but no pain. I was worried about my baby girl. I was shaking, shaking, shivering so much I thought I would die. I was so cold.
At 9:27am on 9/26/12, they took my baby out of me. Princess Buttercup was born. I wanted to know she was alright. I held my breath, unable to see her, waiting to hear her cry. Then I heard her. The rush of relief. They must have shown her to Matt, but then took her to a table, behind me and to the right. I wanted to know she was breathing, what her Apgar score was. (It was an 8 both times). Matt did get to hold her, but because they were afraid of infection, they took her away to the NICU. They stitched me up. They took me back to my labor room for a few hours to recover. Back in that room, Matt and I finally had a moment to ourselves to discuss our name. She would be Alissa (with an I) Grace.
Back in the labor room, I got what I declare the Best sponge bath ever. By then my dad had shown up with my mother-in-law. I think they took turns coming in to see me. At some point they all left to get lunch. I wanted to rest, but every time I began to sleep, my oxygen dipped and the monitor would beep and I'd have to stay awake to focus on breathing in and out.
My parents, MIL, and Matt got to see Alissa up in the NICU. They took pictures to bring down and show me. She looked so big in the picture, but she was only 7lb. 7oz. She was beautiful.
At some point in the afternoon, they wheeled me up to see her. She had to spend 48 hours in NICU as a precaution. I could barely reach up to touch her as she slept. I wanted to hold her, to feed her, to hug her and never let her go. Oh, but the wires.
I had finally been moved to a proper recovery room, a nice double room where Matt could sleep on the other bed. I think around 6pm or so I was given the ok to have a liquid meal. Which actually meant jello and lemon ice. Delicious. Best lemon ice ever.
Later that evening, I finally got to hold my baby girl. I was so nervous, with all her cords and the beeps of the machines. I was afraid of hurting her, of breaking her. She was so precious. But I had to head back to do my own recovery. I barely slept that night, between my vitals being monitored, my legs sweating from those things they put on to avoid clots, the IV being switched, etc. In the morning I was finally able to go visit and feed Alissa for the first time. It was quite difficult, but the lactation consultant was wonderful. The NICU nurses were so wonderful, especially Julie, who helped so much in my difficulty nursing at first and sharing her own c-section and NICU stories. Truly an angel.
Thursday morning I was so delighted to be given the ok for solid food for breakfast. Cartwheels in my mind and tummy. The hospital food was really quite delicious, I highly recommend Hillcrest's food. The vegetable lasagna is especially tasty. I had two lovely displays of flowers delivered, which perked the room up - the one woman delivering food smelled the lilies every time. At some point I was allowed to shower for the first time. How awesome was that?
Every two hours I went to nurse Alissa. On Thursday night, they told me I was going to be getting a roommate, but I fought that (and won, at least temporarily). I wanted/needed Matt there with me. I needed to keep getting up and going to feed my baby. Oh, the long walks with the wheelchair (using it for support) down the hallway... seemed to last forever. The sanitizing station. The walk into the NICU and over to her room. Seeing her, holding her, feeding her.
Friday morning I was told at some point that I should not come to feed Alissa, but that she would be coming to join me. It was around the same time she came to our room (finally), my friend Amie came to visit. I had not seen her since my wedding, but it just so happened she was visiting from Florida. How awesome to see her! But then she left, and Matt went home to shower/get clothes, etc. I tried to nurse Alissa, but she just fed, and fed, and fed, or so I thought. Milk wasn't in yet, I guess she was what the nurse called it, "sleep sucking", just using me as a pacifier. Precious, but exhausting. That evening my brother and sister-in-law came to visit, but I had more nursing difficulty. Breastfeeding is really hard, especially trying to get that latch correct early on.
I was so happy to have Alissa in our room finally. But then they took her out to check vitals and didn't bring her back for hours. Apparently, I was supposed to rest during that time, but I didn't know that. I was awake worrying about whether something was wrong or not, especially since it took so long. I remember being so eager to walk that I got myself water in the middle of the night. Oh, the popsicles, the pudding snacks, the crackers, the pitcher of water. So many simple comforts.
Saturday morning we were told that we would be finally getting a roommate for me. This cut the room in half, actually less than half, as part of my half was now curtained off as a walkway for the other people. I could no longer see my flowers. Matt could no longer stay the night. We decided it would be better to just go home. Finally got some pictures of Alissa taken. Got the Doctor's ok for release. We took our time leaving, so as not to rush things. Alissa's first car ride. Stopped at Walgreens for my prescriptions. Matt had called me about something, but my phone was in the trunk, and in trying to get out of the car, I set the alarm off. Whoops.
It was a beautiful sunny fall day when we brought her home. Matt took a picture of her on the front stoop, as if she had been left, lol, by the stork. The first few nights were quite difficult. But one my milk (finally) came in, things got a lot better. We delighted in counting wet diapers and poops. We were excited when her weight rose so quickly between Monday and Wednesday. We had fun watching old tv episodes and sleeping when we could. We took a few walks with the stroller.
Ah, my baby girl is almost 6 months now. My how time flies...
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
So its been a while...
I hate when I intend to do something, and then that intention falls away, like a leaf from a tree in autumn. But let's see if I can do what I intend, and update this blog more often!
My beautiful daughter, Alissa Grace, was born September 26, 2012. She is now 23 weeks old. She is such a doll. I will come back here to share more about the birth experience later.
As a "get my feet wet" again post, I thought I'd describe what I imagine goes through Alissa's head when she is falling asleep for a nap:
"Mommy always is here when I fall asleep and is gone when I wake up. I'm gonna pretend to sleep to make sure she doesn't disappear."
*Closes eyes* a few seconds pass *opens eyes*
"Oh goodie! Mommy is still there!"
*Closes eyes* a few seconds pass *squints eyes open*
"Yay! Mommy is still there!"
(Repeats 3-6 times)
"What is this gosh darn thing in my mouth?" *pulls out pacifier*
"Where the heck is my paci?!?!?" *Cries* (Mommy puts paci back in mouth)
"What is this in my mouth?" *Pulls out pacifier, investigates, starts to play with it; tries to put it in her mouth*
(Mommy puts paci back in mouth)
"Ah, I have my paci back, now I can go to sleep."
*Closes eyes, pretends to sleep*
(Mommy thinks she can escape but as soon as she moves its)
*Eyes pop open!* "Mommy where are you going?"
(repeat the above until she is actually fully asleep...
My beautiful daughter, Alissa Grace, was born September 26, 2012. She is now 23 weeks old. She is such a doll. I will come back here to share more about the birth experience later.
As a "get my feet wet" again post, I thought I'd describe what I imagine goes through Alissa's head when she is falling asleep for a nap:
"Mommy always is here when I fall asleep and is gone when I wake up. I'm gonna pretend to sleep to make sure she doesn't disappear."
*Closes eyes* a few seconds pass *opens eyes*
"Oh goodie! Mommy is still there!"
*Closes eyes* a few seconds pass *squints eyes open*
"Yay! Mommy is still there!"
(Repeats 3-6 times)
"What is this gosh darn thing in my mouth?" *pulls out pacifier*
"Where the heck is my paci?!?!?" *Cries* (Mommy puts paci back in mouth)
"What is this in my mouth?" *Pulls out pacifier, investigates, starts to play with it; tries to put it in her mouth*
(Mommy puts paci back in mouth)
"Ah, I have my paci back, now I can go to sleep."
*Closes eyes, pretends to sleep*
(Mommy thinks she can escape but as soon as she moves its)
*Eyes pop open!* "Mommy where are you going?"
(repeat the above until she is actually fully asleep...
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