Friday I officially hit the big 13 week mark - the start of the second trimester of pregnancy. Every ounce I gain is another reminder of the baby growing inside me. It reassures me that the baby is growing healthy and strong.
Pregnancy is not easy.. but (based on my experience so far) it is an amazing and beautiful journey. The way it changes a woman's body is both terrifying and exhilarating.
I thought that while the laundry was churning away downstairs I'd take a few minutes and write down my thoughts on this whole adventure so far.
We (err, I, but my husband is very much an active player in this whole process, so I'm gonna use we when appropriate).. we took the first pregnancy test on Monday January 30. I couldn't believe it when two little pink lines appeared. Such in disbelief, I took another test a day later, just to be sure. Two pink lines. *Insert panic fear excitement bewilderment etc. etc.*
Going into marriage, my husband and I adopted a "Lost-ian" "Whatever Happens, Happens" approach to having children. If God intends us to, we will, and if not, that's ok too. When suddenly those two pink lines appear on a $10.99 pregnancy test from Giant Eagle, all of a sudden this approach makes you question God and say, "Um, right now? Do you really think we can afford it, God? Do you really think we are ready?" Insert prayers to assorted saints for health, wealth, sanity, patience, etc.
The night of the second pregnancy test, I started to have some issues and it was unsure if I were miscarrying or not. In fact, I started to search the internet for diseases that might trigger a positive pregnancy test when there isn't really one... (there are some, they aren't good ones).. Thus, the first time I met with my doctor was for blood tests to see if I were pregnant, and if I was miscarrying (insert prayers to St. Catherine of Sienna against miscarriage). Agonizing wait over the weekend (and my nephew's baptism) for the results. When I got the call from the doctor that the blood tests came out fine - and that I could come in for an ultrasound, I was relieved, excited, and of course, more anxious.
That Thursday we met our baby for the first time - 6 weeks, 6 days old - and heard baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was at that point we finally felt comfortable telling some close family and friends.
The first trimester sucks. Plain and simple. Morning sickness is an all day thing, but thankfully I figured out pretty quickly what makes me sick, and how to avoid it. My main enemy seems to be milk, which is sad, because I've always been an avid milk drinker. Early mornings and late at night have been the worst, but as long as I have food at regular intervals, I've been ok during the day.
The fatigue. Ugh. I became a fan of American Idol this season because weeknights all I'd have energy for it to fall asleep on the couch during it. After working on my feet all day at school, I've had no energy for exercise. I've had to turn down social engagements because of food sensitivities and not wanting to have to explain why I'm not drinking (insert "giving up alcohol for Lent").
My husband has been great. Doing the bulk of the house cleaning. Cooking dinner when I haven't had the energy to. Hearing me complain for the 50th time about being hungry, sick, tired, or having to hit the ladies room...
We heard the baby's heartbeat a second time on March 9. Two more weeks til we go back to the doctor and I cannot wait. Of course, the anxiety has not gone away, I want the baby to be healthy (insert prayers to St. Gerard Majella.) I am impatiently awaiting our next ultrasound, probably sometime in May.. I want to see our baby again!
One thing that doesn't scare me is the weight gain, in fact, I am almost obsessively staring at the mirror looking for signs of a baby bump!
Its been wonderful so far to have the love, support, and advice of so many friends and family members. Although not everyone gets it... lol.. recently while discussing with those who have had children about the weight they lost in the first trimester, someone else (no children) commented about how much weight she lost with weight watchers and how happy she is having lost it.. I just kinda had to shake my head in confusion, like, um, thanks for sharing, but that's not what we were talking about. Of course, this same person also when discussing 1st semester problems gleefully said how she was happy she'd never have to go through any of that. Times like that, the lack of empathy of others can be hard; I just have to remind myself how much love and support I have received so far. Pregnancy hormones can definitely do funny things to you and the support of those who love you is so essential. Its nice to know so many new moms full of sympathy, suggestions, and of course, cute baby photos on facebook that I look forward to posting someday too! It is amazing how useful facebook can be as an education tool to see how people with kids of all ages deal with problems (I think of it as troubleshooting advice, lol).
Well the laundry needs to be put in the dryer now, so that's that for today. Hopefully the next time I post I'll have more fun baby news!
